Life is it a Battle?

A Baby is On The Way

2007-03-29T17:51:00.000-07:00

Hello All,

Its been a long time since I have posted here, but it seems right to talk about our big news.

Rodney and I just found out last Monday that we are going to have a baby, not in nine months mind you, in three....THREE!!! I am in my last trimester of my first pregnancy and didn't even know it. Then we found that they are 99 percent sure that we are having a girl.
How do you ask I found out? I found out because I went to the ER because I was having chest pains. I have never had chest pains or problems breathing before so it was a little scary to go.
Before they take the Chest X-ray they ask me if I am pregnant and I respond there could be a slight chance. So I pee in the cup and few minutes later, the nurse tells me I am to which I respond are you kidding??
She says she doesn't joke about that kind of stuff. So Rodney and I are absorbing this shock, they take me down for an ultra sound and guess what, I am 6 months pregnant and they ask if we want to know the sex of the baby, okay I stammer, and its a girl. Rodney is soo excited he is beaming from ear to ear, me on the other hand is just like I can't believe that this happening. I think my mouth stayed open for a couple hours.
o I have bronchitis and phenomia, that's why I couldn't breathe and my chest hurt. They send me home with antibiotics, pain killers, breathalyzer, and orders to see my OBGYN ASAP!!

A lot of people have been asking me, how I couldn't tell that I was pregnant. So here is my long story for that. I was told that I couldn't get pregnant without the help of fertility drugs, because I have cysts on my ovaries. Which I was really upset about for a long time, and God told me one Sunday during worship that I wouldn't need the drugs and that I would conceive life. I have been on Birth Control since I have been 16 to control the cysts. The Doctor took me off to let my ovaries "rest" till the time when they were most needed. But God was true to his word and now we are going to have a girl.
I am going to stay at home with her, thus leaving the work force and all my precious residents behide. So in short I need a lot of advice and a lot of prayer.
We are making some big decisions about buying a house, and new car because Rodney's is dead. I am believing that God is going to provide for us, this little girl is a gift and He knows exactly what we need.
So thank you God for this wonderful blessing, I am excited to see what her future holds!! God has such wonderful things for her life.

So I will need all you super mom's help, I am soo in awe of some of your guys blogs and how you raise your children I would be blessed to have any words of you guys.

I am also trying to find a way to work from home, whether doing data entry or watching someone else's kids. God will open a door.....I am sure

Another New Job For Rodney

2006-06-13T08:07:00.000-07:00

Hello dear Blog and Bloggers,

Its been since March, and my last post left me, well a little disheartened (sp)??

Rodney didn't get the job with National City, and well that was extremely hard on me and him. He had another oppurtunity to get a different job with National City, and that didn't happend either.

So yeah, there has been a lot of oppurtunties for me to just give up with the whole thing. Just when you think that fast food will forever be a part of our lives, a glimmer of hope happends.

So here we are, and now Rodney has a different job interview with Key Bank, the hours are not as pretty as National City. they are from 12-9, which is not fun because Rodney can't do anything in the evening on weeknights. He would have the weekends off praise God, but still.... At the same time its an oppurnity to get his foot in the door, and he really thinks that this could be a starting off point.

Well here we go I am going to believe God for better hours, and that just His will be done.

In other news I am doing a study with other woman on Believing God, and let me tell you last night was amazing. I loved Beth Moore's teaching, it was on I am who God says I am. Amen!! I really needed to hear that I am loved, accepted, chosen, redeemed, forgiven, and blessed.

I pray for all of you that you would believe You are who God says you Are.

I just felt like God had opened my eyes to see me as He looks at me. It was so freeing, and I was also able to see that God is doing something with me right now.

Then she went on to read this passage:

31"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you[a] as wheat. 32But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."
Luke 21:31-32

Beth talked about how God had put her through a sifitng season, to deal with some things. Where God has given the enemy permession to sift her. Beth has a call on her life and she was going somewhere with God, but not with some of her fleshy things. Even though it was a hard time, she said that Jesus was praying for her,like in verse 32 and she was going to make it. She wrote a book about her experience, When Godly people do Ungodly things, that was her Stregthening her brothers based on her experience.

I am being sifted right now God's getting rid of a lot of my pride, my selfishness, and just fleshy things. As it does pretty much suck, at least I have eyes to see, and I can fight myself. I can stand during this time. Most importanly Jesus is praying for me. I hope that all of this I will just be more radically in Love with Jesus.

I hope this post makes sense when I wrote it, I tend to get excited and forget important things like grammar and spelling.

I love you all thank you for all your prayers over Rodney's job it has been our saving grace during this period.

New Job for Rodney

2006-03-15T15:37:00.000-08:00

Today Rodney had his second interview with National City, and we were both very excited.

Rodney has worked at fast food since I have known him. He works crazy hours most of the time I don't see him, because we have such opposite schedules. Rodney could have gone to school and just worked at McDonalds and now Burger King while putting himself through school. I grew up in abusive home, where when I turned 18 I had to leave. Now at this time I was young and Rodney and I had turned our backs on God, so we decided to move in together. It was the only solution to the promblem at the time.
Because of the expense of having to support me since I have been 17. My parents didnt buy a lot of clothes, and didnt provide for me over all.
Rodney climbed the fast food ladder, to running his own store at the age of 19. Since then we have been a slave to the fast food industry.

Rodney has always been special, since he was seven he has just loved God so much, and would run after him with everything. In turn God has poured a lot of annoiting on his life. He is called to do great things for the kingdom of God, because he is so submitted to whatever God wants. Its hard to see him in fast food. Its hard for me to see him there not doing great things for God. I know that God can do anything through anyone, but he has promised us a minstry ( one that doesnt include fast food):0). As a wife it tears my heart out because he is soo much more than fast food. Rodney has learned a lot from his time there, but God has give us a word that by summer Rodney would have better hours and better pay.
I am not trying to complain, or be ungrateful for what God has given us, but it is time for him to leave. It seems since we decide to re commit our life to following God, that this is the last thing to cross over the redempetion line. Everything else God has turned around in our life, expect for Rodney's job.

Anyway so National City calls for a Team Lead postion, yay I think much better pay and hours. So when he went into the interview today he was told that they have no first shift available, six second shifts and one thrid shift. When I heard this I cried, because I really felt it in my heart that this was God's will for first shift.A promise that wasnt going to happend. Second shift is the same schedule he has now:( God is not a half way God. So I am praying for third shift, at least I would be able to see him more, and be there. I still would love a miracle that a first shift postion would open up but thats not the case right now:( So if you all could pray for us, fight with us for this job...Rodney is supposed to hear either Friday or Monday by this week. Pray for my faith as well, because its hard to believe God when this happends. I will fight!!

Come Awake

2006-03-05T18:05:00.000-08:00

Lyrics: Are we left here on our own? Can you feel when your last breath is gone? Night is weighing heavy now Be quiet and wait for a voice that will say Come awake, from sleep arise You were dead, become alive Wake up, wake up, open your eyes Climb from your grave into the light Bring us back to life You are not the only one who feels like the only one Night soon will be lifted, friend Just be quiet and wait for a voice that will say Rise, rise, to life, to life ShineLight will shine Love will rise Light will shine, shine, shine, shine He’s shining on us now

Come Awake
David Crowder Band Collision

Here I am being honest about my heart.

I was sick today, sick in health again. I hate being sick, I can't sit still at all I like to move around be busy....That didnt happend today, so I sat on the couch and watched movies, and didnt really think. I kept hearing God come meet me, come meet me. I was thinking God but I dont feel well and I just wanted to be a nothing today. So I call people no one answers or they are busy with there own lives. God still says come meet me now, come meet me.

So I do, and this song has been on my heart for a while now, I can hear God through it say come awake my beautiful one. Its time to awaken the dead parts of your heart. Dead parts? Even now as I write that I am not sure what that means. I died a little, or my heart did through different situations promises that didnt happend. So I felt left alone, left to my own devices....God is asking me now to wake up........So thats what I am going to let God awaken my heart, I dont know what that looks like....God you got a plan, I am going to trust you with my heart, with my relationships, with my vunerability.......You are a good God, your nature it good, and I will stake my life on that.

Samuel took a stone and name it Ebebezer
Thus Far has the Lord Helped Us
Samuel 7:12

5 Fun Things

2006-02-09T13:04:00.000-08:00

Copying off Jason's Blog:

10 Years Ago I

I was 12, and was in Catholic School. (fun fun)

I had played in my first real volleyball game and I wasn't terriable.

I learned how to play the trombone, and started on the path to sounding like a dying moose.

I had braces, and was most of the time in pain.

I was trying to understand Catholism and not really ageeing with what was being taught in my religion class. So I had to sit in the hall for most of that period :(

5 Years ago

I was 17 and dating this guy named Rodney.( My future husband)

It was my junior year in high school and I was going college crazy.

I was involed in the bible study that was starting to transform Berea High School. We were saving people and reaching people and it was God. That was the first time I had seen a real revival.

I got in a huge fight with this Bible Study due to all of our immatuirty, and we weren't able to patch things up till after we graduated. God is good and he restored a lot of those broken relationships.

Rodney and I became to serious to fast, and I began to distance myself from God.

A year ago

I has just started this new job as a Recreation Director for assited living. I was loving it, I still do...

I was learning about letting go of my dreams and realizing that God is enough. God was being really tender with my heart.

Was looking for a house to rent, and found one in Berea Ohio. Yea God!!

My marriage was just growing and growing and growing...

Meet some cool cats from Indiana, now and forever will be refered to as the " Indiana Boys"

Yesterday

I was sick and miserable...still sick but not as miserable

Took me an hour to get home from work...blah to that

Went to Walmart and bought fun things!!

I felt like God had desserted me and really had to learn how to deal with my bitterness toward those who have hurt me.

I also learned that luden's cough drops taste very good, but they do nothing for your cough.

5 Songs I know the words to..

You are my Sunshine, I have no idea who wrote this but it was a long time ago.

Would You Light My Candle? Rent (musical) I loved this song and was obsessed with the musical for all of my teen years.

O Praise Him by David Crowder...First praise song that taught me the prasing God is not a chore but a response to his love.

On the Road to Beautiful...The lyrics touched my soul and gave me the movtivaion to keep on this journey called life.

Roll out the Barrel...I work in a old folks home, I need to know these lyrics or else I am not cool.

5 Favorite Books:

Captivating By John and Staci Elderage
Oh the things you can Think By Doctor Seuss ( My inner child demands this and it was the first book I read)
Celebration of Diciplines By Richard Foster ( Taught me how get to the place of letting God transform the inside of me)
Chronicles of Narina By C.S. Lewis Who doesnt love these books...
Bridal Intercession by Gary Weins

5 things I buy with a million dollars

First help the Church pay off some off its debt.As well as help WVI

Start the One Voice Minstry

Invest the money so more could be used for the kingdom of God.

A huge house with lots of rooms and lots of backyard

A house close to Cedar Point, with Lake Erie in the backyard.....

5 Places I Run Away to

Cedar Point
Africa
Disney World
England
Flordia Keys

5 things I would never wear

Toupe
Sandles and Socks
Rodney's Glasses, those things are strong
Fake Beauty Mark
Someone Else's Underwear

5 toys

Old-School Nintendo
XM Satillete Radio
Keyboard
Cedar Point-oply
20 questions game??

5 Hobbies

Who has time for hobbies?
I love to watch movies....

5 Greatest Joys
Jesus, Rodney, freinds, Famliy, and Murray the Malbiu ( my car)
hee hee

GIVE ME MY INHERITANCE

2006-01-22T16:27:00.000-08:00

So here I am on the end of a stretch of a horrible weekend.

This weekend was hard because a lot of issues with people in my life not seeing my heart, misunderstandings. I cried most of church today, and cried yesterday. I felt so attacked and I was ready to give up and that I had no fight

God has given me a dream, and dream to build unity in his Bride. So I am a how kind of girl, so I ask God how? How do you want me to build unity in your bride.

He told me how and asked me to take huge risks for the How, and he promised that the How would happened. So I followed through on the How and did what God had asked, the promise that was given to me didn't happened.

So I told God that this dream was to big for me and that I had to put it down:(

Here I am at the edge of the boat again and I here Jesus say get out and walk with me, or in other words pick up the dream. I am still hurt over the unfulfilled promises in my life. So today when our Senior Pastor was saying GIVE ME MY INHERITANCE, I heard God say Katie its time to fight again. To fight for the dream, to fight for people's heart and speak unity into their lives.

NO God I wanted to say....I wanted to run in the other direction and hide, but the fighter in my said NO, so when we sang the last song, I was saying to the ENEMY you better run, and run fast. I am not going to be neutral about this. I will fight for unity, I will fight and believe God for
His promises. No more wandering, No more compromise.

So I am not saying that I am all fired up now but I think I put one foot outside the boat. I ask you dear bloggers pray for me.....I want the How for what is the next step? My heart still remembers this past hurts. I need some help!!!! So please fight with me, whoever reads this please let me know what promise or situation that I can fight with you for.

2005-12-30T09:57:00.000-08:00

You say its your birthday, Its my birthday too.....- Beatles
Its true it my Birthday today ...I am 22 today...so I am going to blog about being 21.

This me at midnight today very excited its my birthday.....hee hee

Here are some highlight pictures from being 21.......

My sisters and me.... Rodney and Me

This year was something I am not sure how to describe it .......I have made some mistakes, and I have had some victories. I am still on this journey with Jesus to Beautiful. I learned I dont know anything.....and that sometimes I make my walk with God too complicated. I was praying one day in my mind I could see Jesus saying, "Katie just take my hand and follow me thats all you have to do.."
I felt so touched that God would be so tender with me, and had already made it easier for me. I tend to be a worry wart about everything, and I can wallow in my mistakes. Jesus says lets just walk together Katie. I need to remember this.

I am always striving to see people as Christ sees them, and to help them see who they are in Christ. Sometimes I miss the boat, I tend to get hurt or mad when people hurt me or dont understnad who I am Christ. Then I remember its not about me......

Weakness.......I have learned that its okay to be seen as weak by other people or to feel weak in situations...If dependence is the goal, then weakness is the advantage.

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I have made really cool good friendships this year.....God has introduced me to new people and has deepen a lot of relationships I already have. So thank you God for the community I live in and that loves me.

My husband, my marriage is a gift I already know that. God has really deepend my marriage. Rodney and I have been through a lot together this year, and we are learning and growing together. I love him more each day... God uses Rodney a lot to show how much He loves me. I am blessed to be Rodney's wife.

2005-12-14T20:09:00.000-08:00

My list
Copying off of Crystal's blog here is some fun stuf

1. Took my parents five years to have me, my mom was really scared that my older sister was it, but then was looking at the moon one night and felt like God spoke to her, saying you will have a daughter and I came nine months later. This is highly unusuall for my mom to believe in the supernatural.......
2. Middle name is Joy because I was a joy and a gift from God.
3. My full name is Katharine Joy Anne Marie Julie Drake
5. Was homeschooled for 6th grade
6. Went to six different schools growing up
7. Did ballet for 10 years at Cleveland Dance Acadmey
8. My first time out of the country ( Canada, Niagra Falls) is when I got engaged.
10. Love to swim, won all kinds of races!!
11. Would like to adopt a child from Africa
12. Met her husband in a high school bible study!!!
13. Loves to sing and all kinds of music, not very good I fear :(
14. Wants to play the piano
15. Likes variety in everything except her Jesus, husband, friends and Cedar Point
16. Hates injustice!!!!!!
17. Was engaged at the age of 18 married at the age of 19
18. Favorite time of the year is Christmas
19. Works at Aristocrat Lakewood Retirement Community
20.Loves to pull for the underdog in everything
21. Loves everyones smile, and to laugh at all times
22. Put shells into a brownie mix, because thought they were egg whites
23. Wants to make new friends all the time
24. Adores her husband
25. Will fight for unity till my Beloved comes
26. Loves to overspend and spoil people, has no mind for a budget,( much to her Husband's dismay) Loves to give really good gifts
27. 3 year anniverary will be on may 16th
28. Wants to live in the Cinderella Castle in Disney World when retired......that or close to Cedar Point
29.Loves to frolic and prance in her living room, and run a muk, swing on swings......you get the picture
30. Can't wait for Christmas for everyone to get their presents

Mistakes......

2005-10-30T17:45:00.000-08:00

Here I am blog again writing to you......

I have made a lot of mistakes lately. I feel like the Jesus glasses that I try to wear are becoming smudged and I am starting to live out of Katie the scary fleshy one. I get frustrated with myself for messing up and since I get mad at myself I think that God is the same that he is frustrated and mad at me too, and that He is going to take his hand off my life.......I have messed up to much its all over..... Right there blog I know that its all a lie but its so hard to put into practice, I need to be rescued from the life that I continue to make a mess off.

I can almost hear the enemy say that Katie its all over that you have nothing here to give that God is done with you........

God I desperately need to hear your voice through the strain and the sadness only you can give me my true identity. No matter what I do what goes on you are always here....Always

Only you can change my heart to stop living a lesser life. I want to be on the same page with you again where I could see you ever where and feel your presence.

So in my heart I am going to say that you God are stronger than any mistakes I make, help me to live the way you want me to. To truly be your daughter I want so badly to make you proud of me. To have a heart toward you like David did. To be a woman after your own heart.

People are God's Gift to Me

2005-10-24T19:35:00.000-07:00

Here is my beautiful Rodney he is God's gift to my life.

Everywhere I go I know your not far away.

I am back dear blog, here I am.

I had a thought last night or more like a pirece in my heart, that I am not using all that I am. Guess when that happend when I was watching Batman Begins, God must want to teach me something out of that movie. That I am made for more that I have more to give to this place,

I made a video for my husband and I really liked doing it, I love doing that kind of stuff, I love using creation and munpilating it to show God in it. I love pictures; people seeing Christ in everything and everyone and exposing that. I know how a lot of people see God in nature and feel connected to him through that, I see God in people thats it and thats what I want to expose to the world. Thats what I love about the video I made it was people opening their hearts to encourage another person and thats beautiful. I love being around everyone this weekend yeah it was a lot of time with the same people but it was still it was great to laugh with Lex over stupid things. It was great to take random pictures of people everywhere. To sing silly songs and romp around and jump and act like a fool because I can. It was great to listen to people talk about whatever, to look around the group and see God's hand print on them. I love all my friends and day by day I am getting to see who they are in Christ, and stand there and fight for that idenity with them.

See this good in you thats God..........

I miss God he seems to be far away and not in away that he is puinshing me but making me realize that I do miss him, does that make sense? When I am writing this I can feel God's presnce here that he is awakening parts in my heart that I had no idea existed.

I have got to live for God and nothing else.

On the Road to Beautiful

2005-06-26T16:11:00.000-07:00

Hello Blog

I was writing about battling against myself, the world, and the enemy.

I am writing now about what is going on in my heart the last couple days.

We went out to dinner on Friday with a group of us to say goodbye to our friend Jason who is going into the Navy to be a chaplin's assitant. God please be with him.

On Saturday we went to see Batman Begins. I loved it, he fought for good and gave justice to evil. He got to fight and win battles, and he made a difference with his gifts and his heart's desire.

I was frustrated after we got out of the movie, why? Because I want more I know I am meant for more, and yet I feel like I am wasting away at my job. I want huge battles I want to fly over the city
I want to fight for unity in the church, I want to see the revial come to the church.

And the reality of the situation is here I am in a house that doenst belong to me, in a job that isnt what I am, and my heart cries. I want to fill my role, I want to run like I was made to. I want to organize this minstry and watch it grow as God breathes on it. I want to help people feel the role that they were meant to fill. Much like the church, I want to help it feel its role.

God seems so far away, and maybe I am the one that is far away from him. I want to hear him like I used to. I want to be the woman I was called to be glorious, powerful,a nd captiviating. I feel like there seems to be a how missing. How to I get from Katie the dull and lifeness to Katie the captivating. How?

Then comes a voice that says, in my time. So I ask God I cant change my heart and the desires you have put there, so I pray that God will let them grow and focus on him.

So I was just reading Captivating, and the first chapter talks about what is in a women's heart. Beauty, Powerful, and full of life. And how the journey that this book wants to take us on, is to restore and renovate our hearts to take us on journey full of adventure together. Then I was listening to on the road to beautiful by Charlie Hall, here are some of the lyrics

And on the road to beautiful My seasons always change But my life is spent on loving You To know You in Your power and pain Father come to me, hold me up 'cause I can barely stand My strength is gone and my breath is short, I can't reach out my handsBut my heart is set on a pilgrimage to heaven's own bright King So in faltering or victory I will always sing You're my portion in this life You're my strength now in my fight And to You I pledge my heart In the pain and in the dark I'll love You I'll love You, I'll love YouI'll love You...

Yeah that is where I am.

I am on the road to beautiful, hold me in your hand father hold my dreams in your hands, for they belong to you.

A Blog is A Blog Is A Blog

2005-06-23T20:33:00.000-07:00

I have no idea how this font looks, okay I think I like it.

Hello Blog,

I am going to introduce myself to you and tell you a little about myself. I am an old 21, with a lot of battle scars, most healed, some not.

I am married to my soulmate, the one that God had set aside for me.

To be honest I am tired. Tired is a good way to describe me, I think.

Life seems dull today and that is because my husband is working the opposite of my work schedule, so I didnt get to see him today. Well I did get to see him this morning, but thats not quality time.

I am a warrior for Christ, that sounds chessy to me at least, but everything I write seems chessy and unorginail. Back to the warrior bit. On a good day I fight my flesh to be the person I am in Christ. On a bad day I fight myself, the enemy, and the world. Now dear blog you're probably thinking that I have some mental issues or at the very least some anger promblems, but it isnt the case.

Myself I will always fight till I die, that sounds hard to understand I suppose, but to me it is the voice inside of me. The voice tells me I have to be liked, I am not pretty enough and never will be, and I can never be wrong, I am nothing with out anyone thinking I am great. As you can see I need to be needed and I have to be liked. It is also the fleshy side that doesnt like to work or do anything for others. Who would rather have a pity party on any day for any reason.

My attack on myself
Its not about me.............I live for Christ and Christ alone its about Him, its much better day when I apply this freedom

Jesus Loves Me......Ha, I know what you're thinking blog that thats crap and thats cheesy I need someone real to love me and make me whole. The truth is he does love me, the God of the Unverise Loves me, and thinks I am the cats pjs!!! Ahh freedom sweet freedom when that concept is applied. That also adds in the look factor.

I am needed....I have a vital role to play in this battle called life. If I dont play my part it matters.

Thats All I want to write about right now. I am tired as usuall and need to go to bed, I want to be as honest as possiable in the blog. So I am not sure when I will write in here again, maybe today, maybe never.

C'la'vie
For me to live is Christ and to Die is Gain